sometimes i completely forget that i have this blog

it happened today
where i was talking to this particular person and she mentioned my blog

holy crap -- i was a bit embarrassed bc i didnt remember if i wrote anything stupid or not
haha

besides seeming a bit emo
i think my blog is pretty harmless

i should spruce it up a bit

i've always been a person who looks at the bleaker side of things
and i've always claimed it to be a realistic view

but sometimes, it's only realistic to me

i'm the type of person who rather be ready for the worst than hope for the best
although i try to do the latter,
it just doesn't come to me naturally

however, i do enjoy being pleasantly surprised when things do turn out better
which is why i feel as though i'm so observant
i need a mental check on any situation or any person in my life

are things okay? is someone upset? did i help or hurt the situation?

unfortunately, it also feeds my need to constantly analyze who i am and what state my life is in

it's all pretty complicated and i could go on forever

my life is a constant headache

or just life in particular

am i in the point of my life where i start to look back in my younger years and feel regretful that i didn't enjoy it better
since right now, the responsibilities of just living is overwhelming

and i'm constantly hungry